PhD student supports move-out after dad threatens to ‘make me homeless’
The internet rallied behind a graduate student who has been living in her car for a week after her father threatened he could “easily” make her homeless.
On the popular Reddit forum r/AmITeA**hole, u/lilacswans, a 23-year-old college student, posted if she was wrong “because she quietly packed my things and left my family’s home without telling anyone after my dad threatened to kick me out?” Her post had over 10,000 upvotes and 1,200 comments.
In the post she explains that she has a part-time job and an internship in addition to her high school diploma. She will graduate in June and is actively applying for positions. Her sister, 20, also lives at home and is attending college online but doesn’t have a job.
“I try to help with the housework as much as possible, although it’s difficult as I leave the house early in the morning and come home late at night,” u/lilacswans wrote.
She says that last week when she got home, the dishwasher needed to be emptied. She told her father she would put away the dishes after a quick shower.
“My father scolded me for being useless and never helping around the house and my sister is always the one who does everything,” she wrote.
She said she helped, explaining that because of her schedule, her parents didn’t necessarily see her helping.
“I told him I took out the trash the night before, the conversation escalated to him and said to shut up and stop fighting because he could easily make me homeless if he wanted to,” she continued away.
The next morning, before the rest of the u/lilacswans family woke up, she packed up and left. She says since she moved out she lives in her car and showers at the gym. Although her parents were looking for her, she said she blocked their numbers and social media accounts.
This resulted in her parents trying to reach out to her friends to make sure she was safe – so u/lilacswans told her best friend to tell them she was safe but had no interest in the maintain communication with her family.
“They begged my girlfriend to reveal my location and asked her to ask me to allow them to talk to me. I went to my friends yesterday and they told me what I did was terrible and that I should talk to them. she wrote, adding that although she told her friend about the situation, her friend said, “fearing her concern for my safety is a terrible thing.”
“I honestly think I just gave them what they asked for, they wanted rid of me so I left,” she concluded. AITA for leaving and refusing to communicate with you?”
Homelessness among students is a growing problem. Although the report doesn’t include graduate students like u/lilacswans, a 2017 report by the Association of Community College Trustees says 13 percent of community college students were affected by homelessness. There is also a movement for colleges to pay graduate students a fair wage for assisting with research or teaching on campus.
The comments supported almost all u/lilacswans.
“NTA but maybe talk to your local police and let them know that it’s a waste of time for your parents to try to file a missing person’s report because you’re not missing,” u/Detached09 wrote in the top rated comment, receiving 15,400 votes . “They threatened to kick you out for not helping, so you left. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. Can you talk to one of your friends about staying with them while you organize things?”
“As someone who has been the ‘invisible worker’ of the home, both living at home with family and moving out with roommates, can attest to, it comes first if you don’t wave them in the face,” u/pineapplesodaa wrote.
“[Not the a**hole]. You’re an adult, you don’t have to live at home or share your life choices with your parents. I might just consider what kind of relationship you would like to have with them in the future. Don’t want to get in touch? Restore and repair relationships?” wrote u/Bulky_Newspaper_1373. You should definitely talk to someone outside of the situation (other than friends) about what happened.”
news week contacted u/lilacswans for comment.